We are the ones who hold ourselves back, not God. Somehow we have this idea in our heads that we need to have some qualifications or be a “perfect Christian” to be ready to fulfill God’s will and purposes for us. That’s just not true.
The Bible is full of God working in and through the woefully unqualified and people who didn’t even follow Him faithfully. One of the ways God fulfills His promise to “work everything to the good for those who love Him and are called to His purpose,” is to heal our brokenness and use it to help other broken people. We all need help, we all need hope, you have some that can light up someone’s darkness because of what you’ve endured. The Lord is with you - let your light shine!